13 Jul A crunchy slaw for a barbecue with old friends and other hopeful things

Walking the line

I walk a fine line between knowing what’s happening in the world and preserving my mental health. While I do want to be informed about the world out there, I know by now that when I dive in too deeply, I find it hard to climb out again, my energy depleted down the rabbit hole of grime. I used to numb my empathy, avoid the news and stay well away from things that made me uncomfortable. After years of working on myself through yoga, meditation and therapy, I feel strong enough to allow myself to feel heartbroken, knowing that there is power in accepting that feeling. At the same time, I cannot spend all day every day feeling crushed by the weight of war and injustice, because I know that it’s detrimental to me and I end up missing my own present moment.

Hopeful things

I have learnt to climb out of the hole by reaching for hope. In the garden, I get hope from the rhythms of life and death on the vegetable patch. In the kitchen, I feel hopeful when I cook things that nourish and bring pleasure to the people I care about, such as this crunchy slaw for a barbecue we were having with some old friends (it’s a summer staple really). I have also found a great deal of hope on Substack – almost every day I read something that lifts me, that makes me smile or opens my mind to a new perspective. I have discovered in recent years that I am more sociable than I realised and that usually, on the whole, I like people, which also feels quite hopeful. At the same time, the people I surround myself with need to have a hopeful attitude too, otherwise they drain me of mine. This weekend, we had some old friends coming to stay with their families. There is something about being with people who have known you for 30 years, who you can be completely yourself with, that feels incredibly comforting. Perhaps feeling accepted is the most hopeful thing of all.

Other hopeful things lately

Mamdani in New York
Corbyn in London
This article about cancer

When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron

Communities building something beautiful together

Recipe for my favourite crunchy, barbecue slaw

I make various versions of this slaw, depending on what I have available. Sometimes, I will use dates instead of raisins, other times replace the mint with another herb, such as parsley. I don’t peel the carrots, because their peel contains a lot of fibre, so I just wash them well instead.